Babble Babble Babble.

Hello.

I haven't posted for so long that i don't really know where to start, so excuse the babbling nature of this post.

Camp was amazing. I abseiled down a twenty metre cliff, completed a high ropes course that was just as high, and got to know the people in my group so much better. The food was disgusting, and packed full of calorific ingredients. Macaroni and cheese? The cheese part being nothing more than seven blocks of cheese? Who comes up with this stuff? Ugh. But after all the activities we did i couldn't help but eat 'food' we had on camp. And my gosh, i ate a lot of it too.

The only other downside was working as a team 24/7. I had no time to stop and think, no time to just stop and have some time to myself. No time to sing. I was singing songs in my head throughout the entire camp and today i woke up, plugged in my ipod, and sung to my heart's content. It felt so good.

On other slightly less positive news, 50.8
The word ew has never been more appropriate.

I have a primary school friend who goes to a boarding school now. I love her dearly, but every time she comes back home, i can feel her eyes on me, sizing me up, comparing me to her. She's pretty big boned and very very tall. I don't like how i sound in my head when i say things like this, because it makes me sound so mean, bitchy, self-centred etc, but i know she is jealous of me. Of how i look, of who i am. She builds herself up when she's around me to make herself seem cooler, and i feel myself doing the same thing. Last time i met up with her i wore a bikini, for the first time. Ever. And i could feel her eyes scanning me, comparing me, looking for physical faults, comparing me to her. I'm pretty self-conscious about my stomach, so i kept my top on when we went swimming. It was less than ten minutes before she set about trying to make me take my shirt off so that she could compare my stomach to hers. And she was sucking in her stomach to the max the entire time. Ugh. I hate how this sounds. Anyway, the jist of it is that she arrives in town in four measly days. And i want to be no bigger than 48 by the time she gets here, and 47.5 by the time i meet up with her. I just, want her to know that i am still succeeding, in my own wacky way, at being the best i can be.

No food for me thanks, i would rather be thin.

I'm on holidays now.
I have four weeks before i go back to school.
Four weeks until i blow them all away.

Stay Strong, Live Life, and forget about exceeding other's expectations, instead, aim to exceed your own.
Xx. Lillie