Wow. It's been a while.

Life has been... hectic, to say the least.

It seems that the universe has decided to play a joke on me in the form of irony.

Recently i found myself struggling to care about anything. Then, the front section of my neck began to swell up. To cut a long story short, i went to the doctor, underwent a series of blood tests and subsequently have been diagnosed with Hashimoto's disease. An incurable disease which, among other things, slows down your metabolism, making you gain weight.

Basically, it's an autoimmune disease, which means that my body has decided to attack my thyroid gland and has rendered it incapable of producing enough of the hormones it's supposed to. So i have to take medication for the rest of my life to do the jobs that my thyroid gland is supposed to do. I'm too tired to go into it more, so google it if you're curious. The medication takes up to six weeks to begin to work. it will speed up my metabolism again among other things. It's been four weeks now, and i thought I was getting better. My parents took my sister and I on a ten day holiday, which was nice and helped me to conserve what little energy i had left. I don't think the dosage is high enough. I thought i was getting better, but now I'm back home, i have two separate ballet performances to perform in six days. The lump on my neck that was slowly disappearing is returning and i have no energy to do anything. I don't know how I'm going to get through the five hours of intensive ballet rehearsals i have to somehow make it through today. Or the six hours tomorrow for that matter. On top of it all i have school assignments that i have no time to do, and even if i did, i doubt i would have the energy to muster up something half legible. I had more blood tests yesterday, and have yet another doctor's appointment this Wednesday. And then sometime soon i have to meet with an endocrinologist.

I know what most of you are thinking, but there is no physical way that this disease is related to my somewhat borderline ED tendencies.

My Aunt is flying up to draw up some sort of diet plan for me the week after next (she's a naturopath and works in the medical field). She's suggesting i go gluten free. Which isn't all bad i suppose. I'll have a legitimate excuse for not eating "I can't, it contains gluten".

To add another complication, I've been accepted to go to an international school in Thailand for a semester next year, but if I'm not well enough i won't be able to go.

I just want this week to be over.


Still, by the time i was diagnosed it had been left undiagnosed for so long that the doctor who tested my blood took one look at the results though i must have been in a coma. If i could make it through that stage, i can make it through this week. I just want to get my life back on track.

It was my birthday yesterday.

Stay strong, Live life, and push through it all, there is always light at the end of a tunnel.
(It seems i should take my own advice)
Xx. Lillie.