Happiness is a wonderful thing.

I had a ballet performance last night.
Made me feel so beautiful :)

On the not-so-good side, im sick.
I hate being sick.
It just makes me feel so...listless.
Like i can't do anything..

And yet despite that im still super happy.
Partly from ballet, partly because i just am.

I probably should have mentioned this a while ago, but there's a guy in my life again.
A really sweet one.
Who also happens to do ballet.

Oh, and did i mention? IM DOWN TO 48!
Two more measly kilos and im down to 46.
Two more and im down to 44
Two more and its 42
One more and I'm there.

So close.

Stay Strong, Live Life, and never, ever let ANYONE tell you what you can and can't achieve. The strength is there, you simply have to find it.
Xx. Lillie

49 :)
There's no where to go but... Down?
You get what I mean.

Tech rehearsal tonight. Tiring, but should be fun.
Xx. Lillie.

No one can feel ugly in a black tutu and pointe shoes. Not even people with braces.

Hello fellow bloggers! I just want to let you know that you all mean the world to me. For some reason it won't let me comment on half your blogs so I'm sorry for the lack of comments :(

On other news, I ended up getting light pinky-purple braces. And they hurt. A lot. When they first put them on I was like "these aren't so bad, once i get used to them they'll be ok". Three hours later? Not so ok.
On the up side, it stopped me from eating everything in sight, which to be honest is what iv been doing recently. Anyway so now I'm down to 49.2 (kgs) and I'm not going to let it go up from there ever again. Ever.

I am performing this Friday and Saturday and am slightly freaking out about it, but not too much (thank god).
The costumes I get to wear are amazing :)
No one can feel ugly in a black tutu and pointe shoes.

Stay Strong, Live life and always always remember, you are stronger than you think.

I have to leave ballet early today.
To go to the orthodontist.
To get braces.

I have mixed feelings about this.
On one hand, theyr gonna hurt. And they look... Less than desirable.

On the other hand, they will make my teeth look pretty (eventually)
and my teeth will be too sore to eat for a couple of days (is it weird that I'm looking forward to this??)

I'm still debating what colour to get, so let me know what you think. I don't want anything too bright and OBVIOUS, so at the moment I'm deciding between light purple, light blue and dark purple...

Stay strong, live life and be happy :)
Xx. Lillie

And then it dawned on her. She could be whoever she wanted.

Second post for today, second post in a matter of minutes really, but there is truth that needs to be shared.

I am at my heaviest. Ever.

BUT

New plan. Starts tomorrow.

Pilates every morning (de-stresses + exercise)

Lots and lots of green tea.

Green tea for breakfast.

Water for lunch.

Sandwich before ballet.

Green tea for dinner.

For one week.

I'm flushing out all the mistakes of the past, ready to begin again.

I will not let my mistakes rule my future.

I can't let them win.

Remember, nothing goes is in vain as long as you keep trying.

Stay Strong, Live Life, and let nothing stop you from becoming who you want to become.

You will get there in the end.

Xx. Lillie

If i could learn how to fly
My feet would never touch the ground.
I'd never have to say goodbye
Wouldn't have to make a sound.
I could throw away this heart
Leave it in the lost and found.
If i could fly, I'd never come down.

If i could sail across the sea
I would head towards the sun
I would never have to be
Anything to anyone.
I could chase my memories
Then I'd never have to run
If i could sail away, I'd never come home.

But i am still here.
There's no where else to go
I am still here.
There's no one else to hold.
And i can't fly, I'm not that strong.
I am still here, and what i have to do is still undone.

If i could fall into my arms
I'd promise myself never to let go
I would keep me safe from harm,
And take me everywhere i go.
I could throw away the past.
Then I'd never have to know.
If i could hold my arms, I'd never let go.

But i am still here.
There's no where else to go.
I am still here, there's no one else to hold.
And i can't fly, I'm not that strong.
Yet i am still here, and what i have to do is still undone.

I am still here.
But what i have to do is still undone.
For now.

And so, she decided to live off green tea.