So far today:

One boiled egg

2 ryvita crackers

10 sultanas

One nectarine

Calorie Count: Around 250. No more food for me today...

New Year, New Strength

Keep up those resolutions, they will all pay off...

Xx. Lillie

New Years Resolutions

I have a lot this year, but I'll put the most important ones down here:

With the beginning of the new year, i resolve to:

1. Drink at least one cup of green tea a day.

2. Abstain from eating any form of junk food (not that i eat much anyway)

3. Do at least an hour of physical activity per day (where possible)

4. Maintain my status as school dux.

5. Never be above 47kgs ever again

6. Binge no more than once every two months

Oh, and today i found brand new motivation. I don't usually like mentioning my relationships on my blog (i like to keep some things to myself), but there was this one guy who was just amazing, he was my best friend, my boyfriend, the guy i tell everything to. We dated for a while about two years back. Anyway, about a month ago he began texting me, asking what it would be like if we decided to go out again. We were about to make plans to meet up again when he shut me out completely, and not just me, but everyone connected to me. I discovered a couple of days ago that he got a girlfriend about three weeks after he shut me out. I don't even know her, and yet i hate her, which is nothing like me, but it's just one of those things that i can't help. Anyway, she just moved away. I'm not mad at him, we have known each other since the very beginning of primary school, i couldn't be mad at him. Besides, there's nothing to be mad about anyway, its not like we were together when he and this other girl started dating. See, this is why i don't talk about relationships, it just ends up as one big ramble. So, my final resolve, is that the next time i see this guy, i want him to be blown away, simple as that, oh, and to have the courage to actually suggest we meet up again.

Anyway, i hope you all find the strength to stick to your resolutions, i know i have.

Happy New Year :)

Xx. Lillie

Ugh, what is wrong with me??

I'm not even going to go into what i ate yesterday, it was all healthy, but i just ate so much of it. Mother dearest made me a sandwich for dinner and it all went downhill from there...

Anyway, today is a new day. Am not eating today simply because i don't feel like it. I know i can do this, i just have to stop failing myself. It's easy, i just have to keep myself on track.

Only today and tomorrow until the New Year :)

Im looking forward to it so much. A new decade, a new year, a new start.

I can't wait to shed the old and embrace the new. I want to go back to school and watch their faces, see them wish they had the willpower i have, the will we all have. I don't consider myself a true anorexic, simply because a)I'm not thin enough, and b) i refuse to let what i eat control my life, i just acknowledge that this lifestyle is a part of me.

I have decided to post my New Years Resolutions at 11:45 on the 31st of December, my way of welcoming the change and saying goodbye to this year.

No more binges, no more junk. I will eat, but what i want, when i need it, and nothing else. I refuse to purge or use laxatives because i believe that if i fail, i should have to pay the price.

Anyway, this post is sort of turning into a ramble on my whacked out principles, which was not the general intention...

My point is, 2010. A new year, a new life. Who's with me?

Stay Strong, live life :)

Xx. Lillie

Ana buddies anyone?

I've been thinking about this for a while now, but i never really get around to putting the subject in one of my posts. Reading the comments i get from this blog is so great. It's amazing to be able to talk to people who know what you're going through, and not just look at you like "why the hell would you do that." Anyway, if any of you wanna be email buddies let me know. A texting buddy would be awesome, but i know that most of you don't live in Australia, so it kinda makes it really expensive...

Anyway, let me know, you girls are amazing, every one of you, and i would be honored to have you as a friend :)

Xx. Lillie

Halfway through the day, and all I've had is one cup of green tea.

Ah, it feels so good to be in control of what i eat again. Reading everyone else's blogs really does keep me motivated :)

Thankyou so much to all the people who commented on my last post (yer, the mini freak out one)

And you know what? I really think I'm going to make it! Am down two pounds (one kilo) already!

Was asked to make dinner so i couldn't get out for my usual run, but i am definitely going today. The whole idea of just trying to eat as little as possible at this time of year really wasn't working for me, so now i plan what I'm going to eat(or not eat) the day before. Today is a nothing day, ugh, the past three days of eating have put me off food completely. Tomorrow i think I'll have an apple and maybe a boiled egg. The day after that im planning on making my favourite lentil soup, but a bowl of that is about 350 calories, so that will be all for that day. I know that i can do it if i put my mind to it.

Stay Strong, we never know what's really in us until we give it our all.

Xx. Lillie

Please Please Please

After the big Christmas feast...

46.5kgs. Uh oh...

ONE WEEK until i leave for Melbourne...

I don't know if i can do this...

3kgs (six pounds) in ONE WEEK??

EEEK!!!!

I'm going to make it! I will!! I will!!

I hope...

Hope you guys are doing better than me.

So far today:

One coffee

A small Christmas chocolate (forced on me by mother dearest)

About ten cherries

Two slices of ham.

Why can't i stop eating??

No more food today.

Going for a run soon. I NEED to burn these calories...

Xx. Lillie

No!!

Well, it was Christmas. So i ate, and ate, and ate. Ugh, the scale has zoomed back up to... 46!!

Ugh, oh well, if i can put it on that easily, i can shed it that easily too. Water has become my new best friend. Feeling like a prawn? Drink some water. Eying the chocolate i got for Christmas? Drink more water. I shall be thin in no time. Let's just hope i can keep this up.

Only eight days to go...

Xx. Lillie