This is the song i promised you all.
(Sorry about the bad quality)
I wrote it about two and a half years ago now, back when i was a little tiny tot so the lyrics aren't too crash hot, but i like this song, it reminds me of the days when life was a whole lot simpler.
Yes, it is me singing, along with one of my friends.
Let me know what you think.
Xx. Lillie
Friday, May 28, 2010
Ho Hum..
Okey Dokey.
I should be doing homework but i just can't bring myself to do it.
I need SOME time to myself!
On the pictures front, I've decided that when i get to 47 (which isn't too far away at all) I'll put up pictures.
Ouch. My muscles are all so sore that i can barely move them. I feel like someone has crawled into my body with a screwdriver and tightened every muscle i own. Oh well, it will pass.
I have to break in my new pointe shoes today too. I'm going to miss my old ones, they mould perfectly to my feet because I've had them so long. When you get a new pair of pointe shoes it's like dancing with your feet in wooden slippers. They just don't BEND. But breaking them in shouldn't take too long, and then my feet will look so much better in the new shiny satin of my new shoes, as opposed to the dull, super frayed satin on my old ones. I'm gonna have to find a place to put them on my wall. I hang all my old pointe shoes up when i can no longer wear them. This will be the fourth pair to make it to the wall.
On other news, i don't want to jinx myself, but I'm feeling pretty good about today. I've had my super salad to get me through the four and half hours of ballet rehearsals i have in about an hour, and i feel like i could conquer the world.
I'm off to read all of your wonderful blogs and hopefully get some work done before i leave for ballet, but i doubt it.
Stay Strong, Live Life, and Have Fun!
Xx. Lillie
I should be doing homework but i just can't bring myself to do it.
I need SOME time to myself!
On the pictures front, I've decided that when i get to 47 (which isn't too far away at all) I'll put up pictures.
Ouch. My muscles are all so sore that i can barely move them. I feel like someone has crawled into my body with a screwdriver and tightened every muscle i own. Oh well, it will pass.
I have to break in my new pointe shoes today too. I'm going to miss my old ones, they mould perfectly to my feet because I've had them so long. When you get a new pair of pointe shoes it's like dancing with your feet in wooden slippers. They just don't BEND. But breaking them in shouldn't take too long, and then my feet will look so much better in the new shiny satin of my new shoes, as opposed to the dull, super frayed satin on my old ones. I'm gonna have to find a place to put them on my wall. I hang all my old pointe shoes up when i can no longer wear them. This will be the fourth pair to make it to the wall.
On other news, i don't want to jinx myself, but I'm feeling pretty good about today. I've had my super salad to get me through the four and half hours of ballet rehearsals i have in about an hour, and i feel like i could conquer the world.
I'm off to read all of your wonderful blogs and hopefully get some work done before i leave for ballet, but i doubt it.
Stay Strong, Live Life, and Have Fun!
Xx. Lillie
Hmm...
I took some pictures today.
Me in my ballet gear.
Never in my life have i wanted to delete something so much.
But i didn't.
Instead they're going to stay on my computer.
Packed safely away in a locked file.
Until i can open the folder and look at them again and think
Never. Ever. Will i go back there.
Ok, so im finally getting around to doing this thing.
Seven facts i bet you don't know:
I have a bear named Elliote. I've had him since before i can remember.
I used to wake up in the morning and think of the first things i would grab if i woke up and my house was on fire.
He would always be on the top of the list. I'm not sure why i like him so much. He's just a plain brown teddy bear, but he's always been there. Partly in real life, partly in my head i guess, he's like my second self.
Fact number two: I have loved the same guy since i was five. I wish he knew.
Fact number three: I don't believe in God, but i do believe that everything happens for a reason.
Fact number four: I collect Winnie the Pooh books. Not the crappy disneyfied version. The original books by A. A. Milne. Again, I'm not sure why i like them so much. There's just something about them. I guess they remind me of my childhood.
Fact number five: I want to help people to understand. I want to be able to help people see from the inside of a situation, rather than looking from the outside and wondering why.
Fact number six: I love to sing.
Fact number seven: My friends think I'm perfect, I wish i was.
As for the seven people... im still undecided, plus someone PLEASE tell me how to do the taggy thing where you can tag other people's blogs and stuff so i can actually nominate them etc..
I might put some photos later. I haven't decided yet.
In the meantime, i think it's finally time i shared some of my music with you.
The video's just black because i couldn't figure out a way to put up just the music.
I don't usually record my songs so this is from a couple of years ago. The other voice you hear is one of my muso friends.
(for some strange, inexplicable reason, it decided not to upload. but it will be in my next post so STAY TUNED! :)
Please let me know what you think.
Stay Strong, Live life and never give in.
Me in my ballet gear.
Never in my life have i wanted to delete something so much.
But i didn't.
Instead they're going to stay on my computer.
Packed safely away in a locked file.
Until i can open the folder and look at them again and think
Never. Ever. Will i go back there.
Ok, so im finally getting around to doing this thing.
Seven facts i bet you don't know:
I have a bear named Elliote. I've had him since before i can remember.
I used to wake up in the morning and think of the first things i would grab if i woke up and my house was on fire.
He would always be on the top of the list. I'm not sure why i like him so much. He's just a plain brown teddy bear, but he's always been there. Partly in real life, partly in my head i guess, he's like my second self.
Fact number two: I have loved the same guy since i was five. I wish he knew.
Fact number three: I don't believe in God, but i do believe that everything happens for a reason.
Fact number four: I collect Winnie the Pooh books. Not the crappy disneyfied version. The original books by A. A. Milne. Again, I'm not sure why i like them so much. There's just something about them. I guess they remind me of my childhood.
Fact number five: I want to help people to understand. I want to be able to help people see from the inside of a situation, rather than looking from the outside and wondering why.
Fact number six: I love to sing.
Fact number seven: My friends think I'm perfect, I wish i was.
As for the seven people... im still undecided, plus someone PLEASE tell me how to do the taggy thing where you can tag other people's blogs and stuff so i can actually nominate them etc..
I might put some photos later. I haven't decided yet.
In the meantime, i think it's finally time i shared some of my music with you.
The video's just black because i couldn't figure out a way to put up just the music.
I don't usually record my songs so this is from a couple of years ago. The other voice you hear is one of my muso friends.
(for some strange, inexplicable reason, it decided not to upload. but it will be in my next post so STAY TUNED! :)
Please let me know what you think.
Stay Strong, Live life and never give in.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
I tripped and grazed my knees a little bit (figuratively speaking) but it's ok, because i picked myself up again.
Fail. Oops.
No matter. The stress got to me.
So i decided to eat like a 'normal' person.
Bad idea.
Now i feel fat :(
But not for long.
My new plan starts right about... NOW.
Yes, that's right. NOW. Not tomorrow.
I need to prove to myself that i can do this.
And not by planning for tomorrow, but by doing what needs to be done today.
Ok. My new plan goes something like this.
Monday, Tuesday, Thursday Friday:
Breakfast: Green Tea and perhaps an orange.
Lunch: Lunch? What Lunch?
Before Ballet: Two pieces of toast/an orange
Dinner: Miso soup, if i feel like it. If not, nothing.
Wednesday, Sunday: Green Tea, Miso Soup- i bought it from a special little japanese shop. It's yum, and about 30 cals a litre.
Saturday: Coffee, one big fat salad with lots and lots of vegetables.
I have ballet on Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday, so that's why i eat more on those days.
I'll see how this goes. I might have to alternate between this and something with slightly more substance each week, because i need the energy for ballet and exams.
It's not long now before i go on camp. For nine days. Doing extremely strenuous exercise. I leave on the ninth of June. That's exactly two weeks away. So if i lose two kilos between now and then, that puts me at 46. Nine days of hard work and yucky camp food that I'll have no trouble not eating? BAM i come back at a wonderful 44. Thinner and Thinner.
I'm determined to make this work.
Which it will, as long as i don't give up hope.
I'm sorry i haven't been commenting, no time, plus half the time my computer won't let me :(
But expect some comments soon, they're on their way!
Seven facts/nominations will have to be in the next post.
Or added to this one if i find time.
We'll see.
Stay Strong, Live life, and Be Happy :)
Xx. Lillie
No matter. The stress got to me.
So i decided to eat like a 'normal' person.
Bad idea.
Now i feel fat :(
But not for long.
My new plan starts right about... NOW.
Yes, that's right. NOW. Not tomorrow.
I need to prove to myself that i can do this.
And not by planning for tomorrow, but by doing what needs to be done today.
Ok. My new plan goes something like this.
Monday, Tuesday, Thursday Friday:
Breakfast: Green Tea and perhaps an orange.
Lunch: Lunch? What Lunch?
Before Ballet: Two pieces of toast/an orange
Dinner: Miso soup, if i feel like it. If not, nothing.
Wednesday, Sunday: Green Tea, Miso Soup- i bought it from a special little japanese shop. It's yum, and about 30 cals a litre.
Saturday: Coffee, one big fat salad with lots and lots of vegetables.
I have ballet on Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday, so that's why i eat more on those days.
I'll see how this goes. I might have to alternate between this and something with slightly more substance each week, because i need the energy for ballet and exams.
It's not long now before i go on camp. For nine days. Doing extremely strenuous exercise. I leave on the ninth of June. That's exactly two weeks away. So if i lose two kilos between now and then, that puts me at 46. Nine days of hard work and yucky camp food that I'll have no trouble not eating? BAM i come back at a wonderful 44. Thinner and Thinner.
I'm determined to make this work.
Which it will, as long as i don't give up hope.
I'm sorry i haven't been commenting, no time, plus half the time my computer won't let me :(
But expect some comments soon, they're on their way!
Seven facts/nominations will have to be in the next post.
Or added to this one if i find time.
We'll see.
Stay Strong, Live life, and Be Happy :)
Xx. Lillie
Mix anger, stress and optimism and what do you get? Optiangstressism?
I have so many things to do that it's not funny.
Whose stupid idea was it to give me five major assignments three days before exams?
Because if i wasn't such a controlled person i would punch them in the face. hard.
Today i woke up, pottered around and got ready for school. Half an hour my sister comes into my room and demands that i give her the shirt i was WEARING because she wanted to wear it. Two parents involved and a screaming fit later, my sister gets the shirt. I'm always the well-behaved one. The one that gets good grades. The one that's easy to get along with. The 'no drama' one. And yet it's always me that has to accommodate the ridiculous demands made by my sister "because it's easier".
I get home from school and get on with my assignments to get them out of the way. Five minutes later my sister comes home and demands that i braid her hair for school tomorrow. Trying to be nice, i agree, even though my assignments are piling up. Two hours and ten sore fingers later, my sister chucks another hissy fit because she "doesn't like it" and takes it all out.
Sometimes i just want to chuck a hissy fit. To scream and shout and stomp my foot until i get what i want. But i don't, because i know it's childish, silly, irrational...
So why is it that my darling prima donna of a sister is so much better off because of her screaming fits? Because "it's easier to give in than to fight".
She's in the lounge room screaming now because she forgot to bring home her maths book. What she expects us to do about it i don't know, but in the next ten minutes i know she will be sitting there with a maths book in front of her, probably at my expense, all without her lifting a finger.
My parents know it's "easier to give in than to fight". As i sit her listening to my sister screaming on the other side of my door, i think of this funny little phrase. It applies to all of life really. It is always easier to give in than to fight. But just because something is easier does not make it right, or fair, or worthwhile.
Whether it's becoming the best you can, or achieving any other goal, don't give in, it will all be worth it in the end. Just make sure you don't lose sight of the end, because that's when things really get hard.
And thankyou so much for the Beautiful Blogger award :)
It made me feel so special this morning.
I don't have enough time to reveal my seven secrets, or nominate my award recipients now, so it will be in my next post.
I'm sorry that my blogging comes and goes... i think it suffers when i suffer.
I'm off to finish the assignments i should have finished ages ago.
Oh, and to try and find my willpower. I seem to have misplaced it, so if anyone has seen it, let me know :)
Stay Strong, Live Life, and remember, whatever you're aiming for, your efforts will all be worth it in the end.
What we do cannot be achieved by throwing a hissy fit. It takes hard work and determination, but the satisfaction of achieving that seemingly unattainable goal would not be nearly so great if it didn't.
We are all stronger than we suppose.
Even if we can't see it yet.
Xx. Lillie
Whose stupid idea was it to give me five major assignments three days before exams?
Because if i wasn't such a controlled person i would punch them in the face. hard.
Today i woke up, pottered around and got ready for school. Half an hour my sister comes into my room and demands that i give her the shirt i was WEARING because she wanted to wear it. Two parents involved and a screaming fit later, my sister gets the shirt. I'm always the well-behaved one. The one that gets good grades. The one that's easy to get along with. The 'no drama' one. And yet it's always me that has to accommodate the ridiculous demands made by my sister "because it's easier".
I get home from school and get on with my assignments to get them out of the way. Five minutes later my sister comes home and demands that i braid her hair for school tomorrow. Trying to be nice, i agree, even though my assignments are piling up. Two hours and ten sore fingers later, my sister chucks another hissy fit because she "doesn't like it" and takes it all out.
Sometimes i just want to chuck a hissy fit. To scream and shout and stomp my foot until i get what i want. But i don't, because i know it's childish, silly, irrational...
So why is it that my darling prima donna of a sister is so much better off because of her screaming fits? Because "it's easier to give in than to fight".
She's in the lounge room screaming now because she forgot to bring home her maths book. What she expects us to do about it i don't know, but in the next ten minutes i know she will be sitting there with a maths book in front of her, probably at my expense, all without her lifting a finger.
My parents know it's "easier to give in than to fight". As i sit her listening to my sister screaming on the other side of my door, i think of this funny little phrase. It applies to all of life really. It is always easier to give in than to fight. But just because something is easier does not make it right, or fair, or worthwhile.
Whether it's becoming the best you can, or achieving any other goal, don't give in, it will all be worth it in the end. Just make sure you don't lose sight of the end, because that's when things really get hard.
And thankyou so much for the Beautiful Blogger award :)
It made me feel so special this morning.
I don't have enough time to reveal my seven secrets, or nominate my award recipients now, so it will be in my next post.
I'm sorry that my blogging comes and goes... i think it suffers when i suffer.
I'm off to finish the assignments i should have finished ages ago.
Oh, and to try and find my willpower. I seem to have misplaced it, so if anyone has seen it, let me know :)
Stay Strong, Live Life, and remember, whatever you're aiming for, your efforts will all be worth it in the end.
What we do cannot be achieved by throwing a hissy fit. It takes hard work and determination, but the satisfaction of achieving that seemingly unattainable goal would not be nearly so great if it didn't.
We are all stronger than we suppose.
Even if we can't see it yet.
Xx. Lillie
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Wow. i am so sorry i haven't posted for so long.
Things have been hectic.
I have exams next week :/ So they're keeping me busy.
Plus fifty billion other assignments due in the meantime.
Im determined not to give in though. 48, 47, 46, 45, 44, 43.
It will all come eventually.
In the meantime, i have all of you to help me through.
When i began this blog i had no idea how much it would end up meaning to me.
To know that you all read my nonsensical thoughts gives me so much happiness :)
Ugh. I hate my sister.
More on that later. I'm off to school.
Xx. Lillie
Things have been hectic.
I have exams next week :/ So they're keeping me busy.
Plus fifty billion other assignments due in the meantime.
Im determined not to give in though. 48, 47, 46, 45, 44, 43.
It will all come eventually.
In the meantime, i have all of you to help me through.
When i began this blog i had no idea how much it would end up meaning to me.
To know that you all read my nonsensical thoughts gives me so much happiness :)
Ugh. I hate my sister.
More on that later. I'm off to school.
Xx. Lillie
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Oh. My. God.
I haven't felt this bad since i was about ten.
I can't breath. Literally.
I can't walk three steps without sitting down.
Last night I almost fainted while I was standing up to brush my teeth.
Last time it was this bad I ended up on oxygen in the hospital.
I don't want to go there again.
This is why I don't like getting sick.
Because when I get sick, I get really sick.
No energy left whatsoever.
Sorry this is such a depressing post.
Stupid asthma.
Stay strong, live life and never take air for granted.
Xx. Lillie.
I can't breath. Literally.
I can't walk three steps without sitting down.
Last night I almost fainted while I was standing up to brush my teeth.
Last time it was this bad I ended up on oxygen in the hospital.
I don't want to go there again.
This is why I don't like getting sick.
Because when I get sick, I get really sick.
No energy left whatsoever.
Sorry this is such a depressing post.
Stupid asthma.
Stay strong, live life and never take air for granted.
Xx. Lillie.
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