Well that was weird...

After what i ate yesterday, my weight has actually gone down...

Not a whole lot, but it went down... well that was weird.

Random Reflection: My parents work just about 24/7. They have two days off a year, Christmas Day and Boxing Day. They rarely get home to make dinner before 9:30, which is good in a way. It feels weird when i go over to friends houses for dinner because I'm just not used to the whole 'sit at the table and eat dinner at 7 o'clock thing.' Anyway, my point is that although i do miss my parents company, it makes it easy for me to eat/not eat whenever i want. 

Fifteen days to go...

You know I'm kinda freaking out that I'm not gonna be thin enough in time...

I just spent the whole morning cleaning the house (another thing my parents rarely have time for) so i probably burnt a fair few calories there. I'm not going to do the dishes though, that's a job I'm leaving to my sister. My sister is one of those people who finds it easy to sit back and let other people do everything for them. I'm the opposite. On the rare occasion that my mum is home early, and starts cleaning up, i feel obligated to help. I just don't see how my sister is able to sit there watching everyone else busy around her and not feel that she should be helping too. She and I are so different that it's kind of amusing. 

I wish i could still do ballet. I miss the music, my teacher, the technique, the exercises, the control of it all. I miss the feeling i get when i finally get a step right, and the strong determination that builds up inside me when i don't. I miss how strong i feel when i dance. Now i just feel weak, both inside and out. I can feel my muscles slowly fading away, my flexibility getting less and less, and the determination i had has gone too.  Then again, i know the minute i return it will all come flooding back like it does at the start of every year, and that feeling is almost worth being away for so long. 

Anyway, with yesterday's failures behind me, I'm more determined than ever to reach my goals before i leave for Melbourne. I'm off to finish my cleaning...

Be Happy, Stay Strong. 

Xx. Lillie